Adult Bullies and how to handle them when not avoidable

All my 42 years have been sprinkled with bullies, both as a child and an adult. I have been thinking about this since yesterday when my sob of a brother in law played a rude and demeaning joke with me and I did not catch it. I never do. In this case I reacted poorly, obviously he was successful in pushing my buttons. My problem is I really do not know what to call his behavior and I told him to quit f***ing with me, in front of everyone, including children. That was my fault in this. In my opinion what he does is and old fashioned form of control oriented humiliation type of "joking" in which he makes you thing one thing, you are prompted to apologize, and then some time later, reveals the "joke". I have always hated this type of behavior, and I never "get" it. I know the best way to deal with this is to ignore it, as I usually do. But this caught me off guard. I have always hated this type of "joking", in j0kes, or most types of joking as I just do not get it. I will be trying to learn more about this, and try to remove myself as a target. Any sincere advice will be appreciated! Darla

Goodbye Evel!

Goodbye Evel Knievel, I did not not pay attention to you lately but when younger I spent hours with my siblings and neighborhood kids reenacting your stunts on our bikes. Jumping ditches, flying over trashcans, flying down hills into traffic, jumping off the barn roof, oh the thrills we had emulating your fearlessness. Our parents however were not amused, when arms got broken, or property damage occurred. Thank you for living your life like you did and for inspiring all those crazy childhood stunts we carried out, pop a wheelie out there man! Darla

Family values indeed!

Oh this angers me so much. Another total hypocrite! Mr. Craig states "I am not gay, I have never been gay. I love my family, my wife, family values". Ok, first of all, who says gays cannot have family values? Why is that impossible? Second, why have there been "rumors" he was having sex with males since 1982? Thirdly, what is it that he was doing in the airport bathrooms? How come Mr. Family Values did not tell his wife about his arrest, I would think if he loved his family so much he would have told them, it is kind of important don't you think? Also, if he did have sex with strangers, is that not putting his wife at risk for STDs and Hiv, and other diseases? That is some real family values right there. If he was a real man, straight, gay, bisexual, or whatever, he would be truthful with those who care and not lie. I never heard of this fellow before this, and if I did, it did not stick to my brain. Frankly I do not care who he has had sex with, I really do not. I am just so tired of these pompous politicians blowing it out their pie holes about family values, and then do things that do not fall under that category. Darla, grr

Rain falls on sad situation

My neighbor, her life has continually gone down hill since we moved here 3 years ago. Now she is having another "moving" sale. I do not know if she is really moving or just raising cash by selling her stuff. She had a moving sale 2 years ago and sold her ballgowns and evening clothes. Then her bmw and Jeep vanished. Her second husband is mainly gone, maybe for good now. Her house has been in default a few times, though not recently. Her utilities are regularly disconnected.

Earlier this summer she closed her office and sold her office furniture. Now she is selling her furniture and professional clothes. The crowds looking for a bargain are getting wet now. Frankly I would not want anything of hers, all the angry words, the yelling, the obscenities soaked into the varnish. These objects are just silent witnesses to the chaos. Not to mention all the dog hair, saliva, and other dog fluids all over everything. Darla

Storm pictures from Tues July 10

             We went to the Magic Kitchen Restaurant in the old Romanesque building on N. Lewis St. Right after we arrived the storm came in. I took these cell pics from the window at our table. The direction is looking north. The dark cloud is the windy roll cloud preceding the gray horizontal streaky rain area. It was so dark the streetlights blinked on. The UFOs in the pictures are the table light over our table reflected in the window. Darla

Bad Credit-Good Credit and some good tips!

I spent a day off last Thursday thinking about this subject all day. I began this by checking my credit reports on www.annualcreditreport.com. Then today I picked up a copy of the June 2007 Capitol City Courier www.capitalcitycourier.org and read the article by Kim E. Gordon entitled "Why Do So Many Blacks Have Bad Credit?". I will not go in to all the historical stuff and racism and classicism things. This is just a brief tale of one once mired hopelessly in bad credit and how I got out.

For many years I toiled at very low paying jobs with no medical insurance, accumulating various types of bad debt including hospital bills, student loans, credit card debt, and other debt to utilities, stores, etc. During those times (age 20s through early 30s) I was in despair over the subject and mainly tried to ignore and avoid it. Much of my problem was ignorance about the whole credit thing.

Eventually I made it a goal to better my credit. Paying bills on time, not buying unnecessary items, educating myself, and taking concrete actions to improve my credit. I paid off medical bills by going in every payday and paying at the hospital. Phoned all my debtors and worked out payment plans. I secured a better paying job with benefits. I dragged my student loans out of default and got into a program that assisted me to that goal. I started checking my credit reports on a regular basis.

I purchased a new car in 2001 and had a hard time finding credit, I ended up taking the credit from the car company with a slightly elevated interest rate. My credit score at the time was 600 which was much better than it had been, though not very good. I remember being shocked they actually gave it to me! I made all my payments on time and paid off the car in May 2006. Also, I finally paid off my student loans 2 months ago at age 42. Yes it was a long hard road to get to this point but I am actually proud of myself and in disbelief that I actually did it! When I checked my credit report last Thursday it had no negatives on it and my credit score was 800, I nearly fell off my computer chair! Damn, success! It did require a decade of hard frustrating time, but it was sooooooo worth it!

Following are some handy tips:

Tip 1-Check your credit report on www.annualcreditreport.com, it is free. There are 3 credit reporting agencies, and you get a separate report for each one. If you want your credit score, you must pay a small price, 4-7 dollars. You can check them free once a year, I recommend checking one of the three every 4 months, then you have the ability to have year round information.


Tip 2-Savings account-I did not have a savings account for many years. A few years ago I shopped around Springfield banks, and was looking for the best interest bearing account with a low monetary requirement for opening. The local banks all had very low interest rates, in the order of 1-2% annual return, to get higher rates you had to deposit $10,000 Dollars (yeah right, as if someone just happens to have a spare 10 grand). Luckily, I found one better, the "Capitol One High Yield Money Market Account". www.capitalonedirect.com. I only needed $100.00 to open it, and get an annual rate of 4.75%. I checked online Thursday and it is still rated in the top 10 of money markets for interest rate, and one of only two with a low initial deposit. In fact, now you do not need to keep 100 dollars in it, and the interest rate is the same no matter whether you have $100 or $100,000,000 dollars. I use it as my savings account and can make 6 withdrawals a month, but try not too as it is a savings account.

Tip 3-I found some current information about credit scores etc. at CNNMoney.com and www.howstuffworks.com/credit-score.htm
Darla

Really now

Hello all, I am a very lonely person. Smart, good looking, lived in Springfield for 9 years. Yet I know no one. My job takes me away often, especially in summer. I have a good sense of humor, love, good ideas. However, for some reason unknown to me, I am very different than most women. I have never had a good relationship with a female friend, I like male friendships better. Could it be my interests? I have alienated many in my life, even though I never do them wrong. Opinions desired! I will take any opinions and think upon them. Thank you, Darla