Adult Bullies and how to handle them when not avoidable

All my 42 years have been sprinkled with bullies, both as a child and an adult. I have been thinking about this since yesterday when my sob of a brother in law played a rude and demeaning joke with me and I did not catch it. I never do. In this case I reacted poorly, obviously he was successful in pushing my buttons. My problem is I really do not know what to call his behavior and I told him to quit f***ing with me, in front of everyone, including children. That was my fault in this. In my opinion what he does is and old fashioned form of control oriented humiliation type of "joking" in which he makes you thing one thing, you are prompted to apologize, and then some time later, reveals the "joke". I have always hated this type of behavior, and I never "get" it. I know the best way to deal with this is to ignore it, as I usually do. But this caught me off guard. I have always hated this type of "joking", in j0kes, or most types of joking as I just do not get it. I will be trying to learn more about this, and try to remove myself as a target. Any sincere advice will be appreciated! Darla